I think we all have words we don’t like. Many people don’t like swear words or crass words. It’s understandable that people don’t like these messy words.
But other words bug us for specific reasons. My friend and I were impressionable teenagers working in the big city. Our bosses were older, more sophisticated and worldly and they taught us stuff.
My friend’s boss didn’t like the word, hot. He said to never use the word, instead say something like, “it’s exceptionally warm today.” I still avoid the word hot to describe very warm weather.
My father-in-law didn’t like the word, nice. “What’s nice?” he used to say.
A friend used to hate the word crap; she thought it was ugly. Some people don’t like the general use of the word hate, thinking it’s too harsh a word to be bantered about so freely.
The children’s book, “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day,” written in 1972 by Judith Viorst must have affected my husband. He doesn’t love the words terrible, horrible and awful, thinking they’re exaggerations of a milder reality. This is a man always willing to offer the benefit of the doubt, even to the context of a day.
By now, you’re probably rattling around in your head, the word(s) that you don’t like. You’re welcome.
Okay, I’m sure you’re hankering to hear the word I don’t like, right? Well, that word is deserve. Honestly, I’m not alone.
According to the United States Declaration of Independence, every human being has a right to, or deserves “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” That’s it, nothing more detailed or nuanced than that.
I’m not sure that one can deserve any of the specifics as to how those rights are achieved: especially over and above anybody else in line. We all deserve the same access to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
It’s no mistake that the Declaration of Independence is an historical document from a democracy – not really, more so a republic, and a capitalist society, probably more specifically a meritocracy. It’s all about the pursuit.
To deserve is to claim reward, punishment, recompense because of one’s actions, situation, qualities. It’s a determination of worth.
I wonder if I’m embarking upon a slippery slope from capitalism and democracy toward socialism with the concept of human worth, value, and recognition. Can we all have the same worth in a meritocracy?
Is the Declaration of Independence a pipe dream? Is it possible in a democracy to all have the same access to the pursuit of happiness, if that pursuit is based on attainment of wealth and recognition. What’s fair about equality?
Deserved, today seems to be more random entitlement based on qualities given to you such as race and gender. In the old days you deserved what you got through mainly hard work, achievement, studied accomplishment, diligence and persistence and a lot of waiting,
Surely, I’m worth more because I work harder. I deserve more money, stuff, recognition because of my value to society. I deserve to be seen, heard, known because I’ve earned it.
We don’t deserve everything we get, good or bad. Not everything is cause and effect or even correlated/related.
Some stuff just happens randomly, and people clamor to find a cause, a reason or explanation for it. Stop. It didn’t happen for a reason, it just happened. There is no because, about it. It is what it is. Full stop.
How does one deserve? If it’s an exclusive right, only I deserve, only I’m worthy, then it isn’t what those rights from the Declaration of Independence speak to.
Am I owed something over and above another – why me and not them? Deserve implies worth and value.
For me, worth and worthy are just as repugnant as equal versus equitable. You just can’t put a price on a human life – as in “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” Trying to bring likeness to difference is an exercise in futility.
“I deserve to be rewarded for…” Why? “I deserve to get…” What for? “They deserve everything they got…” Because? “If anybody deserves it, they do…”
Does the janitor or housekeeper in the stadium deserve a million-dollar salary and the ball player or entertainer deserve minimum wage? It seems an oxymoron that worth can’t be monetized.
A sports figure, actor or musician works no harder for their millions than a highway engineer or cafeteria cook, making an average wage. You just can’t establish an equality of worth. Nor is it equitable to try to bring equality to these vast disparities of financial or social value given to human beings.
Did you know that the Latin roots of the word deserve are to devote oneself to the service of, to serve. The President of the United States is elected to serve the people of this country. Their salary is well below even the annual bonus of most CEOs of major corporations. Why? Because they are servants.
On our ballots, we should ask ourselves, does this person deserve to be President of the United States? Does he or she have the spirit and qualification to serve? It’s a most subjective decision based upon a most subjective word, deserve.