Talk, talk, communicate, confess. It’s therapy I’m talking about.
In her twenties, actress Diane Keaton recently deceased, suffered from bulimia, an eating disorder of binging and purging. She said that she recovered from the disorder after having sought therapy.
Woody Allen, her partner at one time, encouraged Keaton to seek therapy. So, she did and, in her 2011 memoir, Then Again, Keaton claimed that she slowly replaced the purging of food with purging her anxieties by talking.
Like Woody Allen, I think everyone needs talk therapy. We’ve all got issues that get purged one way or another. Therapy seems ideal when compared to the alternative destructive outlets for the bad stuff we accumulate over time and bury deep within. We take it out on someone or something in some way.
I confess I’ve never been in therapy officially, but I have engaged in an excellent and similar alternative. One might call it “talk vomit.” I talk, talk, confess and communicate daily with my husband, who listens – the hallmark of a good therapist.
Having been trained in psychology, sociology and anthropology, I know some things about the mental and emotional health of all kinds of people. That doesn’t make me mentally healthier than you, it just makes me more aware of my issues, and maybe yours as well.
I can say, now that my father-in-law is long deceased, that he was involved in some covert military goings-on way back when. And one of his primary skills developed for that purpose, was observation. “Be aware of your surroundings,” he used to say.
Since both of us trained in observation, we connected with a secret mental handshake, if you will. It’s a communication of sorts, observation.
This is what therapy does, it trains our minds to observe, thereby gaining extraordinary insights about people, places, things, and our own life’s modus operandi. Why do we do, say, and behave the way we do?
You can also gain considerable insight from the stories of others. For this reason, my favorite genre of literature is memoir or biography.
You may do well by accumulating some examples of what some folks have learned, who have already walked the path you seem to be headed down. Once you know why you are the way you are, then you can proceed to “how do I live my best life with what I’ve got?”
In addition to certified therapists, there are a variety of confessors out there, from professional to amateur. Notwithstanding family and friends, we can confess and talk things out with priests and pastors, bartenders and barbers, doctors and hairdressers.
You are never too old, too young, too poor, too smart, too dense, or too far gone to start talk therapy. Even if it’s just between you and God, in the woods or in a chapel, talk it out. It’s the better alternative.
A saying went around Facebook, encouraging people to “stop blaming your past for how you turned out, it’s time to grow up and take responsibility for how you live as an adult.” Yes, our past has significantly contributed to who we have become. But part of “adulting” is to move on and become the best that you can be and stop blaming everybody and his brother for your current lifestyle.
Accept that these are YOUR choices now. If you want a different outcome in the future, change your choices. Only you have the power to change your life, unless you want to give God some credit. Taken out of context, but nonetheless, Jesus said, “heal thyself.”
The saying, “you can’t pour from an empty cup,” refers to the simple fact that we can’t help others, support others, even dwell with others while living in a wounded soul. First, we have to get whole, then we can share our wholeness with others.
It seems to me that if some talk, talk, and more talk will help one to clear out some of the clutter, don’t wait for Spring for a good clean-out. Do it now.