We’ve all heard someone say, “I’m so depressed today.” In fact, 1960s and 70s singer, Karen Carpenter sang, “rainy days and Mondays always get me down.” Having the odd down day is a true fact for nearly everybody on the planet. It’s normal to get the blues sometimes.
It couldn’t be a more normal response to distressing life circumstances, than to feel sadness, grief or loss. Most of us probably succumb to mood swings related to the varying seasons of life, including the weather.
I don’t care too much for rainy days, but my husband loves them. To some of us, Mondays are daunting, triggering the beginning of “responsibilities,” while others see Mondays as a new beginning and challenge to “get er done.”
“Sunday Night Disorder,” isn’t an official psychological diagnosis, but it is a widespread phenomenon of unease associated with anticipating stress concerning upcoming workweek tasks. While in school, I recall dreading Sunday nights, already fearing that I wouldn’t remember my locker combination, or experienced a free-floating anxiety that I forgot a homework assignment.
As an adult, when I have one of those pensive days of thoughtfulness marked by a hint of sadness or dread, I try to think of Paul McCartney’s wise advice, to just “Let it Be.” After having gone through a few of those days in my seventy years on the planet, I noticed a pattern. Give it a day or two at most, and one’s mood changes, like night and day.
The wisdom in “let it be,” is in the space you give to yourself to feel what you feel, but not too long. In fact, the difference between diagnosed clinical depression and feeling down, is the length of time it lingers. Depressive Disorders stick around past the odd day or two, the normal sad reaction to some trying life circumstance.
I have a rather sober personality, marked by a bit of sarcasm. As they say, I got it honestly. I noticed this in my mom, as I grew into a psychologically perceptive teenager. She wasn’t a laugh out loud (lol) kind of person. Which doesn’t, by the way, mean she had no sense of humor, because she did. She was really, subtly, quite funny at times, eliciting a serious giggle-fest. Belly laughs were just uncommon.
Psychotherapist, Dr. Edith Eger popularized the saying, “expression is the opposite of depression.” This seems simplistic, considering that depression, as in the diagnosis of “major depressive disorder,” is far more complex than the everyday mood swings that most of us experience, and which I’ve been talking about thus far in this article.
However, when my thoughts went back to the 1960s band, the Moody Blues, and broke down their moniker, the whole connection between music and moods, provided some clarity. Blues music is a sub-set of jazz music, which is all about expression, particularly honest expression.
Like some country music (influenced by Blues music), blues lyrics bleat out a bluesy storytelling style, expressing ones feelings about what’s real, the joys, struggles, pain, love-lost, and resilience in a sing-along song from the heart. This is cathartic expression at its best.
Writer, Andrew Solomon said, “the opposite of depression is not happiness, but vitality.” Be honest, don’t you feel more alive, or at least better than before, when you belt out a whiny, complaining country or blues song about losing your dog, your broken-down truck, your ex, or bad boss?
Coming of age in the seventies, when I was aware of such things, I don’t recall hearing about clinical depression. In fact, my first, acute awareness of depression, the real thing, was when I took a job in 1980 at the Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic in Pittsburgh, a university based mental health facility, now a UPMC hospital.
I worked for a Hungarian psychiatrist, doing a study on childhood depression. Although I transcribed session notes with children and their families, I anecdotally learned more about depression from my work-study student.
She complained to my boss that I was difficult to work with. I was told that, my asking her if she minded crossing the street in the blustery rain to pick up our mail, triggered her depression. I was taken aback. What I thought was an act of kindness, was received by a clinically depressed individual as “too much.” She preferred that I tell her what to do rather than ask her, with platitudes. Point taken.
Moodiness was a thing back when I was growing up. And, let’s be frank, it was mostly directed toward the females among us. We were the mood barometers. We knew how to feel. Males were clueless.
I wonder if the gender disparity in depressive disorders, with more women than men diagnosed with depression, is directly connected to the fact that women are traditionally more connected to their emotions than men. We recognize when our emotions are getting out of whack and men are oblivious, generally.
Moodiness can be defined as “frequent, intense emotional fluctuation, shifting quickly between happiness, sadness, irritability, often disproportionate to the situation, caused by factors like stress, hormones, sleep, diet, or underlying issues, and managed through self-care.” The prevalence of mood disorders, particularly depression, in men, has increased from the 1990s to the present, globally.
This jump in mood disorders in men has been labeled a “genuine public health crisis,” presumably because men traditionally do not administer self-care management techniques at the rate of women, for such things as anger, irritability, or substance abuse, which are “male-typical” symptoms of depression.
Wow, that’s gloomy news. So, “what to do,” says Jemima Puddleduck from my Beatrix Potter books?
Here are some tips from the mental health pros: accept imperfection, avoid harsh self-criticism, unashamedly seek therapy, become accountable to someone, avoid ultra-processed foods, move your body, reduce your intake of digital noise including news, social media, & scrolling, say no to unnecessary commitments, get outside, practice deep-breathing, pray, and challenge the “shoulds,” in your life.
You can’t always expect that others will be helpful in getting you through distressing times. Sometimes, like King David in the Bible (I Samuel 30:6), when in the midst of great hardship, we have to encourage ourselves. So, cheerleaders one and all, lets offer three cheers to a less moody 2026!