I have a love-hate relationship with food. Food is decidedly my frenemy.
A portmanteau, “frenemy” is the combination of two words, friend and enemy. Yep, that’s me and food.
Now, this is an obvious problem. Unlike other addict able substances such as alcohol or drugs, even pica, food is a necessity, and we must consume it to survive and thrive.
One just can’t stop eating if everything in you wants to eat too much. All or nothing cannot be your eating plan. This is regrettable for the over-eater.
I’ve often felt that I’d be cool with eating moderately if it were not for that dastardly thing called flavor. It’s the taste of food that gets me every time. I can’t get enough of certain flavors.
If the food doesn’t taste good, I easily push away the plate. So, I’m not too far gone in that I don’t eat anything that doesn’t appeal to my taste buds, just to eat.
Okay, from here on in I want to advise you, the reader, to “do you.” We all have different tastes, and, in this writing, I refer to my tastes which will undoubtedly make you occasionally cringe in disagreement. So, “you do you.”
Some people are put out with certain food textures. For example, creamy foods like mayonnaise or ice cream make certain folks want to hurl.
I’m somewhat divided on the creamy texture. Don’t get mayo anywhere near me as an unadulterated condiment, e.g. on a sandwich. That’s just flat out awful, in my opinion. However, I don’t mind tuna or chicken or egg salad if it goes lightly on the mayo; and pasta or potato salads are okay, again if mayo is used sparingly.
Once many years ago at Ag Days in State College, I had the unexpected pleasure of partaking in the creamiest ice cream that I’d ever eaten before or since. And I and my family went back to a beach-side gelato booth in Finale Ligure Italy for seconds of the surely smoothest strawberry gelato (gelato alla fregola) ever made.
That said, creamy textured food doesn’t generally feel satisfying to me. I don’t feel full or finished with creamy textured food. I guess something more substantial, with a heftier feeling in your mouth is required for the “I’m done” pronouncement.
Creamy cheeses don’t work for me either. Brie and its compatriots are frankly icky. I require dry cheese such as Asiago, Dubliner, or Parmesan and the like. Even cream cheese, which I like in baked goods, can go too far when melted in a casserole, “bluck!”
Now, smoothness is a similar texture to creamy, but I associate smooth with luscious olive or avocado oil which I slather freely on any and every salad I make and, in every stir-fry, concocted in our kitchen. Smooth as silk cake frosting, Greek yogurt, and pretty much anything chocolate are dreamy additions to the delicious smooth food category approved in our household.
Hot drinks are also smooth and potentially delectable. I think most soups, if you exclude the popular chunky varieties, fit into a smooth and satisfying category of food. I wonder if they are satisfying more because of the warmth, they exude than their smooth texture, though.
When smooth transitions to slimy you’ve lost me. Okra, escargot (the fancy name for snails), and oysters are on my “no-go” list. And probably mussel too, although they bridge the firm chewy category.
For the most part I’m good with chewy if it doesn’t go over the precipice of rubbery, e.g., squid or octopus or even some clams. But for some reason I can take the chew of shrimp. Why does seafood dominate this food category?
I like the ultimate chewy food, jerky. There’s a store in the strip district of Pittsburgh, PA, that sells just jerky. Oh yeah, mama. One must have sturdy teeth to handle meat jerky. But what a satisfying mouth experience it is to chew and savor the flavorful marinating juices and chew some more until the final swallow on just one piece of jerky. That’s all it takes.
Why does the crunchy food category equate to snack food? One is sort of hard pressed to satisfy a crunch craving without opening a bag of something kept in the pantry or snack cupboard. The crunch of a carrot or apple isn’t the same as the crunch of a pretzel, a cracker, or any sort of chip.
My husband and I even prefer our protein cooked to a bit of a crisp if possible. I think the Brits call chips, “crisps.” If crispy is a food texture, I want it.
Other than texture, we all have our preferences for food flavors. The principal flavors are sweet, savory, sour, bitter, salty and umami.
Yeah, I didn’t know what umami was either until a few years back when I watched a lot of food shows on television and learned a thing or two. “Umami” is Japanese and literally means, “pleasant savory taste,” equating to something rich, brothy savory and satisfying in the mouth. Umami is that element that clinches a meal. It satisfies so that you don’t get up from the table needing something else.
Therefore, I think that umami is my favorite flavor profile. There is nothing worse for an over-eater or flavor fan than to have eaten a meal that wasn’t satisfying. Ones feels literally that you “wasted calories.” Why bother?
I’m good with all the other flavors, probably apart from bitter. I’m no food scientist and there are likely bitter bits included in food that my rudimentary palate doesn’t discern. But when I do taste bitter, I’m unhappy so there’s that.
As to food color, muddy, moussey, brown isn’t a bad thing. I like most brown foods and do not find them unappealing. The low carb, multigrain surge in food fads has trained me to avoid white foods. Green is good but blue is just odd, for food, except the blueberry. It’s cheerful to have a dash of red on your plate and black equates with burnt unless we’re talking about black beans which are yummy umami morsels.
So, there you have it. We all have food likes and dislikes. Food is everybody’s frenemy. Just like human friends and enemies, food is a powerful catalyst for community, involvement, engagement and camaraderie. Pick a food, any food, and Bon Appetit.