Inside a mind with attractive pictures on the walls – Home

“How essential it is…to be able to live inside a mind with attractive and interesting pictures on the walls.” William Lyon Phelps

Home, is not so much a concrete place built of brick and mortar, as a state of mind; a comfortable, safe place; filled with diverse contributions of this thought, that idea, a thing – or a zillion things, and people who’ve deposited bits of matter into the place.

Home is a tapestry that tells a coherent story on the front, but underneath is a rather ratty, gnarly jumble of multi-colored threads that couldn’t possibly produce such a purposeful design, could they?

Home is where you are.  When I taught college-level  Marriage and Family classes, I based all underlying theory of the family on where we are now; not where we were or where we might be, but where we are and where might we go from here. (Random thought – Sex researchers, Masters and Johnson’s theory of human sexuality was based on the responses of prostitutes; how’s that for a biased sample?  I say this because home and one’s state of mind is really about being real, genuine, flawed, and a variation of normal – not some ideal, fake, dating site model of citizenry – and moving on from here.)

Home is where you dwella state of mind?  Yes.  Furnishings, stuff, are just reminders, cues, tokens of a life lived; things that assist with memories that remind us of experiences, along with the feelings those experiences stimulated – all of which are the substance of happiness.

Why do we want to stay home, or come home?  Is it because that’s where the things are that define us, that remind us of who we are; and reassure us that all is well?

This might be why there is such a lot of emotion bound up in the buying and selling of homes.  Perhaps home is the seat of memories and the place where we reconcile our past and plan our future, while living in the present.  More than anything, I want there to be “attractive and interesting pictures on the walls” of mine🙂.

When…Recognize Faith…When

Lest you think you have no faith:

When you’re on the cusp of giving up, and that thing resembling courage rises up in you;

When the forecast is unfriendly, and a hole appears in the clouds;

When your cupboard has emptied, and a gift arrives just in time;

When the pain subsides long enough for a fresh breath to surface;

When a friend says the thing you seemingly need to hear all your life;

When that place in your soul, long dormant is ignited and set afire;

When defeat or failure are blinding your way and a tunnel of victory breaks through the fog;

When doubt and indecision threaten to ground you and clarity comes out of nowhere;

When you don’t think you can wait another nanosecond, and hope rises up in your feet, and step after step, you miraculously move on;

When all seems lost, and suddenly you’re pregnant with a new beginning;

When what you’ve been looking for your whole life is revealed to have been outside your front window all the time;

When you’ve sought fame, fortune, acknowledgement and satisfaction out in the world, and contentment, peace, and fulfillment rise from inside you, obliterating all want;

When, after hundreds, even thousands of prayers have been emitted, the unexpected, but fitting answer comes – in a whisper;

When all the doors you’ve pounded on remain closed, but a sliver of light breaks through under a closed window;

When after all the years of hoping, wishing, and begging for this one or that one to change their ways; you happen upon acceptance;

Recognize it’s faith…when…

Good things come to those who wait…

We’re all surely familiar with the proverb, “good things come to those who wait,” or some version of it.  I don’t really care about its origins, although some attribute it to Lamentations 3:25 in the Bible and others, a much longer & more detailed concept, to Abraham Lincoln.

A Story About a Humidifier –

I lived it this week – really for the last 32 days to be exact.  Once upon a time we bought a new humidifier, to replace the ten year old trooper we had become used to, for our living room, to counter the dry air produced by our fireplace insert.

This humidifier had a one year warranty.  Good thing.

Since we rarely use the humidifier in the summer (humid Pennsylvania summer), having purchased it last February, we used it a few times then it sat for months before we used it late this fall.  One day I noticed the water didn’t last as long as it should have, having run it only a few hours before manually shutting it off.  Upon further inspection, water covered an 18 square inch section of the hardwood below where it sat.

Uh-oh!  I cleaned up the mess, re-filled the tank and tried again another day.  It worked, then it repeated the leak.  We put a towel – a nice one to match the living room (lol) under it just in case; and sure enough, it leaked again.

It was time to call Customer Service duh, duh, duh – can you hear my musical interlude a la Stephen King?  Oh no, the ominous Customer Service department!

Thus my 32 day trial of waiting began, accompanied by at least four calls and half a dozen emails from no less than five email addresses from personal to business to family.  On call number one I was talked into purchasing a new filter since I hadn’t replaced the original since purchase, and “that should fix it.”  Sucker!

Au contraire mon ami – the new filter did nothing but soak it, and the floor.  I’m not totally dumb, but I don’t get the whole wet filter thing.  Our old humidifier had a filter but it didn’t soak to the gills with nowhere else to release the water – but the floor!!????

At any rate, in call number two, with Colin, I thought I had a replacement humidifier coming our way – happily, a filter-free model, worth a tad more than our old one, once they received my email with our Walmart proof of purchase attached.  I felt okay.

I waited a week after sending the email without any response or acknowledgement of the proof of purchase.  So, I sent the email again from three different email origins.  No response.  You know how, at this point, you start to question yourself I’ve been sending emails to all kinds of people, does my email work?  So, I called to confirm the email address to send the receipt – it was confirmed.  What???

Long story, finally short –

I called yesterday with my firm but friendly voice and said, “we need to settle this today.  If you can’t make that happen, I would like to speak to someone who can.  It’s been a month and I’m getting the runaround on a warranty replacement.”

Bingo.  I ended up with – I say this, although technically it won’t be the end until the new unit arrives in 6-8 business days – a UV warm/cold mist humidifier that is worth four times the one I purchased last February at Walmart.

By the way, they were “out of” most of their humidifiers, posing a conundrum in the middle of which she said, “we have crock-pots, but I guess that wouldn’t work when you want a humidifier,” – LOL LOL LOL!!! So, the boss agreed to send me a humidifier from their colleagues, a higher-end brand.

A true-life example of good things come to those who wait; and timing is everything (I think originated with a Greek poet, Hesiod).

Bundling Culture

The Puritans brought bundling to the American colonies, we’re told.  That was, of course, the historical courting ritual of betrothed couples – there was no such thing as dating.  Couples were attracted, betrothed, then dated, so to speak.

Part of courting in colonial America included, for some, the practice of spending evenings and overnight visits, clothed (uh huh) in the same bed so as to stay warm, as the betrothed tarried (bundled) together to keep company.  Sometimes, a board was placed between the couple; and often parents stayed in the same room.  It was a getting to know you ritual – quite controversial as one might expect.

Today, the practice of bundling has an entirely different context and most contemporaries have no idea of the historical meaning of the word.  But the new connotation of the word has no less controversy.  Or, does everybody love it?

I am an a la carte gal myself.  I prefer to select, on its own merits, exactly and precisely what I want in a product or service.  With bundles, you get some of what you want and a few doodles of what you will never use or could care less about.

Even with food, which is what I first think of when a la carte comes to mind, I usually go to the a la carte menu and ignore the “meals.”  Even back in the day when I ate fast food occasionally, I never got “the meal,” because I don’t drink soda.  My frugal mentors taught me that “they always get you with the drink.”

Bundling is designed to expand profit for the seller, but the crux of it for the buyer – which is what irks me, is we are made to feel we benefit (convenience being purportedly, the main perk) from bundling with “them.”  I usually have an underlying feeling of being “taken,” or ripped off when salespeople try to force me into bundling.

The other day, in my umpteenth conversation about various bundles with the third internet, phone, and television provider, I told the persistent customer service rep that I was happy with my television but wanted to discuss just internet and phone service.  She insisted on pressing it further and I said I really preferred to have separate bills.  She couldn’t believe my archaic attitude and said,”it’s the same amount with the bundle as with the separate bills.”  I said, “precisely.”

Again, we ended in a standstill and we remain semi-bundled.

“Do you have a home?” – Part Deux

Like a certain young singer-songwriter that we all know (unless you’ve lived under a rock for a while), who writes and sings about her romances gone awry (T. Swift) – an essayist, such as I, writes about our everyday experiences.  So, here goes.

As my Facebook friends will recall, I posted a couple of weeks ago that in one of my walking forays in an industrial area near the woods and the entrance to a couple of trails, after having picked up a discarded plastic bag, and filling it with equally discarded bottles, various food wrappers, cigarette cartons, and such, on my way to a dumpster to discard said trash, I was stopped by a worker at an industry, and asked if I had a home.  Apparently he thought I was homeless and “my” bag of trash was either my only possessions, or my only source of income.  LMAO, at the time.

However, something similar happened this week, and my funny bone wasn’t tickled this time, but my contemplative mind went into overdrive and into the deep I dove.  Why do I pick up trash?  Why do I return other people’s shopping carts to the store?  Why do I let people in front of me in the checkout line?  Why, when I’m out and about, do I engage strangers in random conversation?  Why do I hug when I want to hit?  Why am I silent when I want to scream?  Why am I awake when I want to sleep?…

I pick up trash along my walks as an act of stewardship of the earth, and devotion to God, it’s Creator.  I don’t expect thanks or applause (thank God, because I’d be gravely disappointed); but instead of asking me about my motives for picking up their trash, would it kill some people to just say, “thank you.”

I do stick my foot in it, stick my neck out, and never learn about some things.  That is, I try to extend goodness, mercy, kindness, and help toward my fellow men, women, and children; but most attempts lately seem to backfire!?!?

For example, this week when walking along a macadam road surrounded by both woods and industry, I spied with my two eyes, a piece of large equipment with its lights on – sitting next to other equipment; like a transformer ready to come more and more alive!  I continued my walk, thinking somebody from one of the buildings with employees still around, would notice it and tend to it; or maybe it was new enough that it had a built-in memory to turn the lights off after a bit.  Not so much.

On my way back around, I thought I’d seek somebody out and alert them to the lights-on situation.  You see, in my thinking I was doing a “good deed” – I was a girl scout, after all.  I thought that if that equipment was like an older vehicle, and it had a battery, powering those lights, it might drain the battery and present a problem to its operator, tomorrow.

I popped my head into a couple of open doors in one building and saw no one.  I didn’t want to trespass, so I figured I’d done all I could and started to walk away, when a young guy, no more than 19 or 20 years old, called out to me from his car; presumably on a break.  He asked if I was looking for someone.  I pointed out the equipment with the lights on and he mumbled something about the fact that if it were some other type of equipment he could just turn the lights off, but he’d have to find somebody to deal with this particular piece of equipment.

I walked away, sort of trying to explain to him that he’s probably seen me walking the road this summer…that I’m not some crazy lady, or homeless…  He called after me and said, paraphrased: “I’m curious. Why do you walk here, when there are other, beautiful places to walk?”  He didn’t wait for a reply, so I guessed it was either a rhetorical question or a critical judgment that indeed I am a crazy lady.

So, in my defense:  In the summer, wearing shorts, I avoid some hiking trails (and my husband’s vegetable garden) because the plant matter irritates my extremities and inevitably I end up with some sort of poisonous mass of itchy, unsightly, stuff crawling up my legs or arms and Prednisone, here I come!  Instead of the trails, I walk next to them, surrounded by trees to the north, south, left and right of a macadam or gravel road or earth and rock path, well clear of weeds and spreading plants.

I am well aware that there are other places to walk.  For example, many people walk or run through my neighborhood (a lovely place with lots of friendly people, and barking dogs in every other yard).  Other people drive to the head of a trail and walk from there (drive-to-walk).  And, beauty is – as we long know, in the eye of the beholder.

On my walks, I see wildlife, run across few people (with the exception of those couple of workers), and visit with God. I’m often alone with the trees, rocks, animals, and my thoughts; just the way I like it – beautiful!

Growing up with Sensitive Skin – for the purpose of developing a Sensitive Spirit

Everybody who went to high school with me knows I had cystic acne and sensitive skin as a girl.

In the second half of my life I see it less as the plague that it was to me then than as a prerequisite to what is now the developed, seasoned through time and testing, gift of a sensitive spirit and soul.

What my flawed skin once covered over, is now released – liberating me to live – “adulting” in the deep where I’ve always belonged but couldn’t have known while shackled in the shallows of adolescence.

The Aging of Mushrooms & Men – a poem and photo essay

The Aging of Mushrooms & Men

Mushrooms in
decay                                                                           A special kind of beauty                                                                         Aging is more than okay                                                                            It’s kind of creative duty.

Their colors are muted but deep
A testament to
age                                                                               Their story is something to keep                                Something of value – a sage.

Rubbery and
brown                                                                           Bites out of them some                                                                           Wear red – why wear a frown
Where their substance comes from.

Something about their state of decay
Their obvious imperfection                                                                 Their richness, I beg to stay
Their essence and insurrection.

Aging milkweed no longer attracts
Butterflies are drawn to the young
Fruitfulness is happy to relax
Content to remain unsung.

A celebration of life                                                                                No need for a funeral                                                                          Their legacy sharp as a knife
In words, verse, even numeral.

Sleeping butterfly ended too soon                              “Miles to go before I sleep”                                                                      Life protracted maybe ’til noon
Frost said when thinking thick and deep.

Some mildewed green from too much rain
Others I passed, camouflaged were they
Still more baked brown from sun that then came
Why I delight in them I cannot say.

Mangled by the very nature that gave them birth
It takes a village she said                                                                        With light dancing about them with mirth
Some choose hiding instead.

Like Alice in wonderland                                                                 Under the mushroom cap
Life cannot be bland                                                                           When you live in such rich sap.