If you want to learn something deep about life, get to know a newborn baby. I’m rather certain that the parents of a newborn don’t have the luxury of time to observe some of the things we grands can, what with feeding, changing, soothing, not sleeping, physical recovery, showering, working, and all the other things parents of newborns are called upon to do.
It’s been my pleasure lately to spend a few hours at a time cuddling my delicious grand-baby, and I observe some stuff beyond my aching jaw which is permanently stuck in the smile position. He emits sounds that are something wonderful between a purr and a snore. I believe those sounds are a, perhaps innate, mechanism of self-soothing.
With mama’s heartbeat, no longer a constant in their life, newborns develop self-soothing mechanisms, such as the little gurgles, grunts, groans, and chant-like sounds little ones make. While they are feeding, sleeping, or just contenting themselves while taking in their enormous environment, newborn’s make such amazing sounds.
We, as adults self-soothe through some other operations, some of which are human-made, and many of which are unnoticed. For example, religion, in the sociological literature is considered a social construct created by humans for self-comfort. In fact, Karl Marx said that “religion is the opiate of the people.”
A former sociologist and a Christian, I say “what better opiate, than religious belief to provide solid foundational principles for life, as well as the ultimate in self-comfort.” Frequently, we seek any kind of numbing agent, ranging from drugs, alcohol, overeating, tobacco, and a multitude of other substances, to help us through the hard times, rough days, challenges that we can’t easily overcome, or pain that is too much to bear.
Why not pray, for comfort? Why not read a passage that speaks directly to your discomfort, that lifts that pain even slightly?
Social media wisdom is like glitter and coffee grounds. It spreads everywhere, instantly. But it is not always accurate.
In fact, this column idea was instigated by a fake Ralph Waldo Emerson quote, “to know that even one life has breathed easier because you lived. This is to have succeeded.” I saw it of course on social media, and immediately thought, “how comforting.”
This quote however, was not Emerson, it was written in 1906 by Bessie A. Stanley as a contest entry, defining success, in the Emporia (Kansas) Gazette. It was attributed to Emerson in error in 1951 by a syndicated newspaper columnist, Albert Edward Wiggam and has spread like herpes all over the Internet, since.
Comforting quotes, biblical passages, and religious rites are all balm which thwart the blues that accompany most of us mere mortals from time to time. Certain intellectuals, Karl Marx included, feel that such self-comfort is platitudinous and encourages us to accept the brokenness in our culture rather than forge new alternatives to the system which is in place, including religion.
Some folks who are considered religious, take issue with the concept. Because religion is human-made, there are people who have strong religious beliefs but don’t consider themselves religious. They consider themselves spiritual. They further believe that spiritual things have little to do with societies’ institutions but everything to do with the things of God.
Who’s to say that self-comfort in the form of reading, taking a walk, shopping in moderation, praying, singing, dancing, even working, or such practices are not the adult way of self-soothing or searching for the closest thing we can concoct to match our most comforting past, mama’s heartbeat.
To spiritual people, self-comfort is a byproduct of a spiritual life, not the purpose for it. Maybe, in fact, we’re striving to recapture the heartbeat of God, who most of us believe, created us.