I was pondering getting rid of a candy dish, full yet of sugar-free hard candies, that belonged to my mother. She passed away in 1999.
I’m not particularly fond of that dish, which has been housed in the back of my China cabinet for over twenty years. I’m doing a bit of a clean-out, thus the question of whether to keep or donate that dish.
That multi-colored, patterned dish with a lid is among other items such as candle holders that serve only as place holders in the cabinet. It’s not beloved, and or usable like other items that are kept in one of the two built-in China cabinets in our dining room.
The rules of simple living and decluttering your life include: don’t bring a new item into your house unless you first sell, donate or throw away at least one item that you already possess. This simple rule helps keep your clutter to a minimum, if you can do it.
We won’t discuss my husband here, too much. But I will say that he has been forbidden to purchase another colored t-shirt, either short or long sleeved. Every color and shade of shirt is presently represented, and some color-duplicates are stuffed into our small closet and chest of drawers. One more t-shirt and he will have slipped right over the precipice into hoarding, and I’m determined to save him from the embarrassment of such a stigma.
Now, back to myself and mom’s candy dish. I love glassware. Maybe it stems from a diet trick I adopted years ago, to eat small portions from a pretty plate, drink tea from a beautiful cup and juice from a delicate wine glass. It made me slow down and eat deliberately and savor that cup of tea or drink of juice, even more because the delivery method was thoughtful and nice.
So, I’m inclined toward the glassware section of every shop, or store that I enter. But our house is small, and storage is limited. For this I’m grateful, that our fateful forever-home purchase all those years ago saves me from a potential overindulgence in the glassware that I crave.
About that candy dish, I asked myself silently if I would be disloyal to mom’s memory if I donate that dish to charity. Then I thought of my friend who recently lost her mother and is presently sifting through her things. Her brother declared her utterly unsentimental as she decided to get rid of this and that item, found among the myriads of unused stuff that her mom squirreled away for way too long.
I took an honest look at my own temperament and determined that I too am unsentimental. Realistic and practical, utilitarian and commonsensical suit my style. I’ve been known to say “there’s not a romantic bone in my body.” This I inherited from my mom. LOL was not her style nor is it mine although I do laugh out loud on the rare occasion.
Understand this, the fact that we rarely laugh raucously, doesn’t mean we aren’t happy. We get amused by things and our joy may be unbounded. But it’s an introvert thing, that outward expression of the multitude of internal material that we possess, is not gonna happen often.
I have both negative and positive memories of my mom. I particularly and fondly remember her for the uncontrollable giggles we shared at inappropriate times and places; oh, and her literacy, which I value above rubies, her birth stone. On the other hand, I don’t thank her for the couple of OCD traits that she modeled and which threaten to overflow from my own brain on occasion.
But these are memories not things. I realize that things are symbols of memories but the memories stand alone and only take up space in our heads, not our closets. “Skeletons in closets” comes to mind, though.
About that candy dish, I think, my practical, utilitarian self has decided to donate it. Maybe someone will buy it from the charity shop and love it, treasuring it as their own. Clearly my memories of mom are intact and do not threaten to leave me because that candy dish no longer takes up space in the back of my China cabinet.
I confess, however, that the decision to throw away the candy from the dish, tugged a tad at my heartstrings. So, I guess there must be a shred of sentimentality in my temperament, after all.
Are you sentimental? If so, are your feelings of nostalgia connected to a disposition to save things, hold on to things, feel uneasy letting things go, and thus accumulating too many things?
I don’t know, give it some thought. Hearts and flowers, chocolates and hugs y’all, if you need them.